So, for the few of you who are totally oblivious and unaware of this fact, today is opening day of The Hunger Games in theaters. Having read the first book over break (before the pestilence) and loved it, I decided to sign up for the midnight premiere pilgrimage with my dorm. Now that I've seen it, I feel it is only appropriate to write a blog post about it!
First, let's talk movie-going experience. After my poetry professor tasked us yesterday afternoon with writing a performance poem and performing it in a public place somewhere, I decided on a whim to write a poem about the Hunger Games and perform it outside the theater at the premiere. That's not quite as weird as it sounds, because it was more parody of a superfan than actual superfandom, and also I did the whole thing in a Jersey accent. So actually...it was pretty much just as weird as you think it is. Once inside the theater, we managed to be pretty normal the whole time. I had to continually swat my RA's arm down from the Panem salute she insisted on doing about 500 times. At one point - specifically, in the moments leading up to the CAVE SCENE (fans reading this, you know what bad timing this is) - we got into an uncontrollable silent laughing fit a la Ash Wednesday mass. Luckily, this time, we didn't have candles, or else we would have given a whole new meaning to Girl on Fire. Oh, and finally, I took a "what district do you live in" quiz on Seventeen.com right before the movie, and it said I belong in the Capitol. While this is basically akin to the Internet telling me I am a bad person, I'm strangely okay with it.
So, moving on to the movie itself. In the interest of avoiding plot spoilers, I will simply give my opinions on some of the major characters. Be warned, I may still accidentally include (dozens of) plot spoilers.
KATNISS: Non-plot-related spoiler alert: I hate Katniss. I hated her in the book, and Jennifer Lawrence played her pretty much exactly as she should have been played, so I hated her in the movie, too. She frustrates me with everything she does! Also, Jennifer Lawrence - at least in this form - looks like a weird hybrid of two girls I know from home, so that was distracting. Oh, and Katniss is a stupid name.
PEETA: Oh, Peeta, you little darling. I just love ya. My problem with Josh Hutcherson is that he did enough movies, fairly recently, as the "little kid," that he is still a small child in my mind. I feel creepy finding him attractive, which, of course, the movie forces me to do. He did, however, play Peeta exactly as I pictured him in the book - adorable and possibly gay.
GALE: So hot. I don't even have anything else to say, really. He's hot. It was cute how he took care of Prim. I "aww"ed on cue whenever they cut to him looking sad during the Games when Katniss and Peeta were together. Liam Hemsworth, you may lay your sad, hot head on my shoulder.
CINNA: He is my favorite character in the book. I was weirded out by him in the movie. His relationship with Katniss was creepily romantic. I mean, it's Lenny Kravitz, so obviously Jennifer Lawrence/anyone would want to get with him in real life. But not here! When he zipped up her jacket, I was like, what is this, Harry and Ginny before Bill's wedding? Weird. I did, however, like his fire costumes, especially for the parade. The red dress was different in my mind, but I liked it as is, too. It made me want to glue rhinestones to my shoulder and call it a dress strap.
CAESAR FLICKERMAN: This was perfect in every way. As those of you who follow me on Twitter already know, I have decided that, spurning both Peeta and Gale, I am, in fact, Team Caesar Flickerman. I adore Stanley Tucci almost to the point of creepiness. He can do no wrong in my eyes, and that was especially true with his portrayal of Caesar. Also, he stole his hair from Katy Perry at this year's Grammys. Look it up.
RUE: Oh my goodness. So cute. Ahh. That girl played Rue in such an adorable, fantastic, perfect way. Rue, for the record, is exactly what I want my children to be. Never mind the biological improbability of this happening (though it'd be possible if I married whoever that was that played Thresh, um HELLO beautiful man); it is what I want. No white child will ever be as cute as her.
OTHER TRIBUTES: Cato - terrifying. He was larger in my mind? But still. So scary. Clove - girl is CRAY CRAY. She may have actually been scarier than Cato to me. Had she not died in the Games (yeah spoiler alert, this girl whose name you barely recognize does not win the Games!), she would have gone on to a notorious career as a horrifying sociopath serial killer. Fox Face was prettier in my head; Thresh, as mentioned before but deserves mentioning again, was super hot.
OTHER RANDOMS: Haymitch - so great! I pictured him less attractive than Woody Harrelson, but I'm not complaining. He got the balance between stupid drunk and charming sponsor just right. Effie - perfect. In terms of costuming, she was a cross between Dolores Umbridge and Nicki Minaj, and I loved every minute of it. Capitol residents - exactly how I imagined them. One of Cinna's assistants was, I think, secretly Rihanna. President Snow was wonderfully scary in his subtle way (his dealing with the gamemaker at the end was deliciously perfect). When I saw the Capitol family with their cute kids playing with the sword, I did not have anti-establishment feelings of frustration with their ignorance. I thought they were cute and thought, that's so great how they're rich and stuff! Put otherwise, the Internet is right; I am a bad person.
So there you have it: The Hunger Games as seen through the eyes of the Domerberry - or, in honor of this day, the Hungerberry. It's still completely true that the series is no Harry Potter, but for a Potter fan like myself whose life has been empty and meaningless since last July and the last release of the last movie (I'll let you pause here for a sob break), it's a good substitute to fill a bit of that Harry Potter void. After last night, my desire to read the other two books has increased hundredfold, so you know, sorry, homework. If you've read the book and haven't seen the movie yet, go see it immediately. If you have seen it, I'd love to chat with you about it. And if you haven't read the books yet, I would entreat you to start! Happy Hunger Games, dear readers, and may the odds be ever in your favor.