Monday, January 16, 2012

What I Did on Retreat, or Baby Sarah

This weekend, I went on retreat with the Folk Choir. Before I left, I grabbed an old journal from my room to write in during the retreat. I wrote in it, but more importantly, I turned back to the beginning and read the whole thing. I used this journal during my sophomore year of high school. It is absolutely hilarious. Below are some of the best quotes that I can publish on the Internet without humiliating myself or my friends. Enjoy.

10/3/07: "Right now, things are crazy. Like, in general, they're all right, but there's one thing that's totally crazy, that is all I'm thinking about, meaning things are crazy."

10/12/07: "The game was fun. We scared people as they walked by. B/c we were in the front row, so Natalie would pop over the rail and scare people. Like, get right in front of their faces and say stuff. She'd say, 'Helloooo,' or 'Boo,' or she would just bleat like a goat. Then by the end, we just decided to take people's hats from right off their heads. THAT was fun. We got this one little boy TWICE. After that, he'd either hold the brim of his hat or just take it off when he walked by. She messed with one foreign's hair and he almost cried. (You do NOT touch his hair.) She took another guy's ridiculous lumberjack hat three times in one conversation. He almost killed her."

"Obviously the only time a girl and a guy walk to or from class together is if they're dating."

10/18/07: "Were it not for the fact that we are 'just friends,' it would have been very romantic."

10/22/07: "And tomorrow I'm hanging out w/ [boy]. SO PUMPED! I'm gonna die. WOO PUMPED! **PUMPED!** I'm like Tourrette's/ADHD right now! God! Pumped! Ttyl! I need food!"

11/4/07: "This is not easy to write right now b/c I got fake nails for the dance (YES) and they're really long so I can't really hold the pen normally. (Btw I'm writing in pen right now mostly because the pencil is not sharp and I don't feel like sharpening it.) So anyway... We had Brent drive us to Natalie's car. Well, actually, I was in the car, and Natalie rode on the hood. That was funny. But then we decided we wanted to race to Walmart. Brent beat us out of the parking lot, so Natalie decided it was a good idea to RAMP INTO THE LANDIS PARKING LOT! It was kind of terrifying. We were ahead of him then, going into Marleton Hills. Then we all hit a snag. The boys' swim team happened to be running in Marleton. So we had to like dodge them and stuff...between the two cars, we almost took out all of them. But anyway."

11/11/07: "At one point while we were in line, I got into it with [jerk] (who had already thrown pebbles from the centerpiece at MY HEAD), and he says, 'Shh!' and I say, 'You shh!'. And then he said 'we don't need that here' about six times. Then, at the EXACT SAME MOMENT, [friend] and I go, 'We don't need YOU here!' It was freaky."

12/12/07: "I love half days. They're great. Wow. I'm glad it's been more than a MONTH since I last wrote. I've been way mondo (wow redundant?) busy, obv. I'm really happy right now, b/c I'm listening to Soulja Boy on my iPod b/c I got $15 in iTunes. I'm very happy about it."

"By now, there's basically no one in the entire school who doesn't know that I like him. My entire algebra class knows - we talk about it regularly - as does my entire chem class, and obv. the entire cast of South Pacific, Mrs. [history], Mrs. [math], Mr. [history student teacher], most all of Swing Choir...everyone."

1/1/08: "For Christmas, I got a book called "Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer. It was REALLY good. It was 500 pages long and I still finished it by the 27th."

"We played this trivia game called Buzz. It was 4 teams of 4, and all the team names ended up being sexual. It was Team Weiner (my team), Team Shockers, Team Ray Pists, and Team Dangle. We had to shorten our names onscreen, though, so we ended up w/ Ween, Shokr, Raypis, and Dangl. Team Ween kicked BUTT! We won in a landslide. For a long time it was really close between my team and Team Dangle, so we coined the term 'Weendangl.' Isn't that a fun word? In the end, though, Team Ween was, of course, victorious. We screamed our brains out. Our prize was a snow leopard, which proceeded to eat the game show host."

[while watching My Super Sweet 16] "In her tour, this chick goes up to this giant bear - which is just sitting there in their living room - and says, 'This is Fluffy. My daddy shot him 2 years ago in Russia.' In the immortal words of Severus Snape/Alan Rickman, I may vomit. Meanwhile, I'm still bored out of my mind. I mean, a girl can only watch so many episodes of My Super Sweet 16."

"This is yet another reason for him to get with me. My dad wouldn't get his name wrong every day if he was my boyfriend. Just thought I'd point that out."

1/2/08: "You know, I don't have ANY classes with [boy] this semester? That'll be WEIRD. I don't know what I'll do with myself. Die, for one thing."

"I am the last person on Earth to still not have a Facebook."

"Today was seriously like the worst day in the history of the world. (I don't have that much to write, but it's gonna take me 30 years, cuz I cannot do anything while I'm watching America's Next Top Model. It's the Cycle 4 finale, for Pete's sake!) I just knew it would be a really bad day, as soon as I found out about [kid] being snowed in for All-State practice. I did. I heard that, and I said, 'Bad things are gonna happen today. Today is a bad, bad day.' And, of course, it was."

"I'll kill myself. Seriously. I HATE TODAY!! Kill. My. Self. Dead. Pushing up daisies. Having kicked the bucket. [friend] suggested that I hit [mean girl]. I WANT to run her over with an 18-wheeler! I HATE HER! UGHHHH! <3, Sarah"

1/5/08: "I had some weird dreams last night. In the first one, JCT was performing Wizard of Oz again. I was an elephant. Like, I was playing one. I don't know what the point of the elephants is, b/c it was a rehearsal and we didn't do any elephant scenes."

1/6/08: "Oh My God! WE WON A BASKETBALL GAME! We'd all forgotten what that's like, to win a game. It was amazing! Cuz obviously as of last night, we were 1-7. But Harrison, who we were playing, was like 1-8. So hey they've lost more games than us, maybe we can beat them."

1/8/08: "I love rain! I really do. Cuz right now there's this massive, sinner-smiting, arc-building monsoon of a rainstorm going on. So today, we got out at 1:10 cuz of the flooding! That is what I'm talking about, baby!"

3/21/08: "Here, I will briefly pause to bring you this message. BILL CLINTON - you know, former U.S. PRESIDENT - is coming to Logansport. And I am going to be in Colorado. That would happen. So anyway."

"I looked at [boy] a couple times during our concert, you know, and, in my mind, sang 'Hopelessly Devoted' entirely to him."

4/1/08: "Then Chelsea goes, 'Oh yeah, I think he def. has a thing 4 u.' WHAT? What is this? I'll tell you what it is! It is ridiculosity! Ah. My arrector pilis just tightened! Hehe that means I have goosebumps. We learned that in Med Term 2day. Anyway. RIDICULOUS!"

"Plus, his last 'idk,' I'm not sure if he said 'but' or 'so.' And there's kind of a vital difference. Actually, there's not. I'm being ridiculous."

4/18/08: "The LOVE OF MY LIFE is in leagues with my MORTAL ENEMY! I can't believe it. THIS SITUATION IS TRYING TO MAKE ME COMMIT SUICIDE!! Although I probably won't even have to kill myself, b/c the outside world seems bound and determined to beat me to it. Tuesday night, there's a giant explosion boom sound which still hasn't been officially determined to be a sonic boom. Then today at 5:34 am, we had an EARTHQUAKE. That's right, an earthquake. In LOGANSPORT. THE WORLD IS COMING TO A FREAKING END. Next, we'll probably have a plague of flipping locusts! BRING IT ON, LOCUSTS! BRING. IT. ON!!!"

5/23/08: "Next year, we should do Rent. B/c high schools are doing it now, and it's like this. A) I love the show. B) If I didn't get a lead, it wouldn't be so bad, b/c let's think about it. Do I really want to be an AIDS-ridden stripper or a lesbian who, come to think of it, also has AIDS? Then next year, in Cinderella, I'd LOVE to be the stepmother. God knows I love to play the villain. And I just love Bernadette Peters. She could have been in Glitter and still rocked."

6/19/08: "I would like to point out that 'In the Ayer' is ridiculous. They rhyme jam & damn with A.M. Also, song & zone. THESE WORDS DO NOT RHYME, FLO RIDA! Also, Jamie Lynn Skank - I mean, Spears - had her baby this morning. Maddie Brianna. Not Madison. No. Maddie. God."

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