Friday, July 27, 2012

Meanwhile, In Logansport

Since Monday night, I have been officially moved out of HappyVisionLand and moved back in (sort of) in Logansport. For the record, I say "sort of" because all of my belongings are currently packed in bins that lie scattered throughout my house. Unpacked or not, however, I have been able, over the past few days, to catch up on all the latest L-town news - and let me tell you, there is plenty of it.

The big event around my house this week is this weekend's Junior Civic Theatre production of The Music Man. For starters, I'll say that it's a lovely great show and you should all come see it. (It's tonight and tomorrow night at 7:30 and Sunday at like 2:30 I guess. Whatever.) Because I am a good person who also has absolutely no life, I have spent every night this week at McHale watching and taking pictures of the dress rehearsals for this play. I, therefore, am in an excellent position to give you all a brief review of the show.

An evening spent with the JCT show begins with the little kids' show, Winnie the Pooh. I saw this beginning to end for the first time last night, and, let me tell you, it is a trip. The show is about thirty minutes long, and one group of kids sits on a bench onstage for the duration of the performance. Clearly, these kids are the best part of the show. When they're singing, dancing, or otherwise concentrating on things, they're fine. And for the first three or so minutes when they're left to their own devices on the bench, they're all right. After that point, they get bored. This, of course, is where the fun begins. My favorite moment from these kids came when the little boy dressed as a skunk repeatedly stared at the palm of his hand, licked said palm, and smacked people with it. Given how few laughs last night came from anyone who wasn't me, I think I am the only person who noticed this child. Should anyone reading this go to see Winnie the Pooh this weekend, I would advise you to watch these bench children...ceaselessly. They are the most entertaining thing you'll see all year. Another Pooh highlight (besides the show's self-perpetuating ability to create jokes by being called Pooh) is the sign casually thrown into the play that reads "BYOH" for Bring Your Own Honey. This was another hilarious moment during which I was the only person who laughed.

Then there's Music Man. I don't want to spoil anything for you, but to quote this century's best SNL character, Stefon, "This show has everything." The world's strangest quartet, my sister as a librarian (lolz), several of the ugliest hats in the state of Indiana, insensitivity towards Native Americans - everything. My favorite moment last night occurred when the kid playing Winthrop missed one of his entrances by about two full minutes. This gap left the guy playing Harold onstage with my sister, stroking her hair repeatedly and awkwardly while I sat in the audience, trying to keep from knocking my tripod over with my hysterical laughter. Come see the show, kids! In particular, come tonight when you can find me in the audience crying because I'm missing the opening ceremonies.

When not focusing on the theater, Logansport has been preoccupied of late with all things related to automobiles. First, they went and built a roundabout two blocks from my house. In addition to destroying the traffic patterns of everyone in my neighborhood for the past several months, this roundabout has singlehandedly wrecked my ability to viably tell my friends at school that I "live in the country." While this is essentially true - we're outside the city limits, there is a cornfield across from our house, etc - I do lose some major street cred with the arrival of this new-fangled roundabout. Furthermore, now that I have seen it and driven through it, I have only one thing to say: WHY IS IT A BLOCK OFF THE ROAD? For months now, I've been hearing about this roundabout and anticipating this cool new addition to my neighborhood. I get home to find the roundabout inexplicably plopped down about ten yards to the left of the center of the road. You're driving down the road, and then comes this roundabout, forcing you to practically drive into the next county and back before returning to the original road. I do not understand, Cass County.

Of course, the biggest news in town lately is the fabled new mayoral parking spot. For those readers not familiar with this debacle, the story, as I've heard it, goes something like this: Mayor parks in illegal not-a-spot parking spot. Mayor's office is contacted, instructing mayor to please move mayor's car. Mayor does not move said car. Mayor gets parking ticket. Mayor pays ticket. Shortly after paying ticket, mayor has a crew go out and paint him a new mayor spot so he can (depending on who you talk to) have easier access to the city building in the event of a mayoral emergency or, basically, emerge victorious from his encounter with the parking po-po. I don't really care about this whole thing. What matters about it are the following two things. Firstly, the mayor and/or his crew created this spot by painting themselves a car-sized yellow box. I may not have learned much in driver's training (as anyone in my car on break week can attest), but I do recall that yellow is the universal color for "don't put your car here." This makes me laugh. Clearly, in this instance, the mayor missed the perfect opportunity to paint himself a completely ridiculous parking spot. Perhaps purple, or zebra print. Maybe tie-dye! Keep this in mind for next time you paint yourself a parking spot, friends. The other notable development to come from this whole thing is that, for a while, it was a lead story on Oh, Logansport. Keep up the good work.

So that's what I've been up to since leaving Vision. I've watched play practice, and I've listened to people complain about a parking spot. And I've slept. A lot. For now, I'm off to prepare for opening night. Enjoy watching the opening ceremonies, all of you people whom I hate!

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