Sunday, November 27, 2011

Confessions of a Thanksgiving Break Slacker

If you live or have ever lived in the good ol' U.S. of A., you are well aware that the past 4-7 days (depending on how kind your school or workplace administrators are) comprised that glorious holiday, Thanksgiving break. In fact, if you're a high school or college student worth your salt, you are probably at this very moment avoiding all the homework you didn't do over break by reading this post. For your reading pleasure, I thought I would share with you all a few secrets from my days off. Yes, like Usher, these are my confessions - and don't worry, my chick on the side does not, in fact, have one on the way.

Let's start with the obvious one: homework. I brought my backpack home with me for break, stuffed moderately full with the books from which I've missed readings in the past few weeks and the laptop where all the rest of my missed reading assignments lay in wait. I had really great intentions on the homework front, but unsurprising Confession #1 is that I did absolutely none of it. That's not to say I was completely unproductive...well...okay, actually, it is to say exactly that.

The strangest series of events that filled my homework-less break time came about on Wednesday night. My sister had some friends over, and, when the first one went to leave, she pulled out of our driveway and backed directly into the ditch across the road. Most people would probably express some kind of concern at such an occurrence. But Confession #2 - you guessed it - is that I may or may not have responded with laughter. In my defense, no one was hurt, the car wasn't damaged, and after 20 minutes of discussions, flashlight-shining, phone call-making, and manual labor from a 7-person moving team, the car was successfully removed from the ditch without even calling a tow truck. Thus, being one of the worst drivers I've ever met, I feel that I have every right to laugh a bit. And hey, I waited a whole four days to blog about it! She should consider herself lucky for that if nothing else.

Oh. Confession #2B is that, immediately after this, I accidentally let my fewer-than-six-months-licensed sister illegally drive one of her friends around town. Unlike a lot of people in Ltown, though, this is actually the only illegal thing I did all break. I am rule-follower; hear me roar.

Confession #3 pertains to the truly ridiculous level of laziness I succumbed to during this break. I watched three movies...on the first day. (I think the total is somewhere around 7. I lost count somewhere between Bridesmaids and Elf.) I consumed approximately my body weight in turkey alone, not to even mention the millions of side dishes and desserts that kept miraculously appearing on plates in front of me. I woke up at pretty reasonable hours, but considering the latest I went to bed all week was 11:30, I wouldn't exactly call that a victorious battle in the anti-laziness war.

One of the few things I did all week that involved me actually leaving my house and interacting with humans who aren't my relatives was going to a basketball game at my high school on Saturday night. (Go Berries.) And Confession #4, inevitably, is that I watched pretty much no basketball during the entire second half. Instead, I sat back with an older, (slightly) taller iteration of the pilgrim from my last post and talked about everyone from our graduating class and what they've all been up to since we bid adieu to LHS. If you're a classmate of mine fretting over this news, I wouldn't worry much - if you're reading my blog, you're probably one of the chosen few for whom we had good reviews. [Note: that rhyme was purely unintentional. But hey, watch out, Poetry Writing for Majors spring 2012.] I'd be more concerned if you're reading this as a current member of the LHS boys' basketball team - because we do not believe that you are 6'2".

Appropriately, my last confession comes from mass this morning. For my non-Catholic or obliviously Catholic readers, today was the first day of masses using the new translation of the Roman Missal. In other words, all the phrases we mindlessly rattled off during the mass are now completely different and tricking Catholics everywhere. Confession #5, then? I may or may not have spoken every newly-translated line like I was reading from a play script. "The Lord be with you," you say? Aaaand with your spirit, Padre Miguel! Okay, so I didn't say Padre Miguel. Out loud. But I did throw in some fun inflections here and there. My bad. In my defense, I do remember things better if I say them in weird ways; just ask my RA about how I sang my way through her homework last week. But yeah yeah, I know, sanctity of the mass, etc. I promise I won't do it again...soon.

In summation, bless me, readers, for I have sinned. This is part 1 of my confessions. Unlike Usher, though, I have no plans of boring you with parts two and three. You're welcome. Now go eat some leftovers.

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