Sunday, November 20, 2011

Judgment Days

When you live your life as me, pretty much every day could be called Judgment Day. An embarrassingly huge portion of each of my days is spent judging the ridiculous people I'm forced to interact with or being judged by people who get to witness the equally ridiculous things I do all the time. The past few days, however, have been overflowing with opportunities for judgment. So many strange and/or interesting things have happened that I couldn't even pick just one to talk about - so you're about to hear them all.

We'll start with all the things from the past few days for which people have probably been judging me. Take Thursday night, for instance. I went to Folk Choir practice as usual, and afterwards, I went to the midnight premiere of Breaking Dawn. Yeah, I said it. Me, my RA, a few (awesome) sophomores, one of our ARs, one brave junior, and a bunch of freshmen headed over to the movie theater at 10 pm, homework in tow, and picked out our seats for the first showing of the new Twilight movie. I know that's a decision that a lot of people will laugh at, so I guess it's too bad I have no shame. I've read the books, I like the series, and Taylor Lautner is a god. Go ahead and judge me, haterz. Then there was yesterday. I skipped the last home game of the season to go home for the night. In my defense (because normally, let's not kid around, I'd judge myself for that one), this was only to see my sister perform the title role in Oliver at our high school. But still. I missed, among other things, Regis Philbin, Jon Bon effing Jovi, Brady Quinn, Chicago (the band), and, oh yeah, the last home football game until September 2012. I have a feeling that more than a few of my friends were thinking I'm pretty nuts for going home last night. Once again, I must repeat: I do not care. It was a great show; I got to hang around backstage (yeah, judge me for that too, people); and I got a delicious homemade breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes. Oh, and on that topic, yes, I eat like a small child. Judge away.

Of course, I've also come across some good judgments in the past few days. A certain intoxicated tenor who shall remain nameless called me bodacious on Friday, so, you know, that works. My high school English teacher asked me how school was going and proceeded to tell me I was an entirely too gifted writer to not pursue it as a career. So I mean, hey - if you're going to judge me with those results, feel free! Or if you're deciding I'm a total freak, really. If I was worried about people judging me, I would disconnect my Spotify account from Facebook before listening to the JBiebs Christmas CD on repeat.

Then there are the great opportunities I've had to judge other people in the past few days. Let's begin with Friday afternoon. Now, Ke$ha may have the famous line, "Tonight we're goin' ha-a-a-a-a-ard," but that did not stop several of my friends from goin' hard this Friday at 4 in the afternoon. This resulted in judgment all over the PLACE. First, there was a certain nameless best friend of mine who was attempting to earn herself a new boyfriend in the form of every person she saw or even thought of - even if said person was a girl, or, say, a 17-year-old ginger she's never met. Mostly, this was just hilarious. Normal people may have been judging her for this, but the only judgment I was really making was, "Good to know I have fantastic taste in BFFs." Then there was the obliterated freshman I escorted to dinner. It's a proven fact that drunk dining hall is the quickest way known to man to get huge crowds of people judging you harder than Simon Cowell judges/judged "singers" on American Idol. And this trip on Friday night was no exception. Typical, sober Sarah was just minding her own business, trying to serve herself some lukewarm DH pizza, and obliterated freshman insisted on calling out everyone in the place he'd ever met in his life and generally making an idiot of himself. I was just there to keep him out of trouble, really, but as he said, "I can feel you judging me right now, Sarah." Yes. Yes, you can.

Then there was the play last night. Fully-grown adults sitting behind me who sat with your legs dangled over the seats in front of you the whole time? Judging you (and feeling very tempted to steal one of your shoes and throw it, just to spite you). Lighting guys who left one poor soloist in the dark for her whole song? Judging you. Mom behind me who refused to tell her kid to shut up and/or to take her out into the lobby? JUDGING YOU SO HARD. Recent LHS grads returned home from college with a few extra pounds or a really weird haircut? Yup, judging you, too. Kid from my first post who broke my thumb last time I came home and spent all of last night complimenting me on my sweater and my eyeliner? Judg-- haha, just kidding; keep pilin' on those compliments, buddy! You know, I've been meaning to tell my dad-your choir director that you deserve a solo....

Okay, back to the post.

The moral of the story is that the past few days have involved more judging of people than your average trip to Indiana Beach on a hot summer's day. I saw and enjoyed the most hated movie in America. I missed the last home game of the season for a trip to Logansport. I was an escort to drunk dining hall and a witness to all of Logantucky's finest. In all, it's been a great few days. And now, if you don't mind, I think I'll watch some Tough Love Miami, eat some chocolate, and mercilessly stalk people on Facebook. Make of that what you will.

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