Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A Few of My (Least) Favorite Things

Since my Facebook news feed has been positively blowing up of late with people - mostly stereotypical whiny girls from my high school - listing off their pet peeves, I figured I'd add my two cents by writing a post about a few of the many things that annoy me.

Let's start with one that the above paragraph (okay, sentence) should make obvious: excessive narcissism from people who are not me. Originally, I was going to just say "excessive narcissism," but then I remembered that I am one of the most self-interested people I know. That, however, is why I have a blog. For what really irks me in the arena of narcissism is practicing it in inappropriate forums. I have no problem with you wanting to talk about yourself a lot; trust me, I can relate. But do it on your own time. I do not want you clogging my Facebook and Twitter with every mundane detail of your life, every message you wish to send to your haters, and every low-quality mirror pic you've ever taken of yourself in your bathroom. On a similar note, unless you are one of my closest friends and/or you have a major issue you want my help with, I will probably be secretly annoyed if I have an entire conversation with you in which you talk about yourself too much to allow me to do the same.

Secondly, let it be known that there is no end to my disdain for people who take a "too cool" mentality in their choices of music. Those readers who know me well are aware that, when it comes to music, I am essentially the anti-hipster. Let's not kid around; my iTunes library is about 60% show tunes. If that's not your style, I'm okay with that. Similarly, I have nothing against hipsters. But if you make all of your choices in music based solely on their distance from the "mainstream," I would ask you to stop kidding yourself. Music does not end up on top 40 radio because of its deep lyrical or compositional quality. It's there because it's catchy and fun to listen to. I enjoy indie music as much as the next person - but I have no intention of pretending that I haven't also sat around listening to T.Swift and crying like a seventh grade girl. You can relate to her lyrics; admit it. Similarly, if you don't have some modicum of affection for Justin Bieber somewhere in your body, you might not be human. (Side note: if you think you don't love the Biebs at least a bit, go listen to his Christmas album. It will change your life.)

On a similar note to the previous thought, I am endlessly annoyed by people who take themselves too seriously. If you can't laugh at yourself, the odds are good that you are zero fun to be around. Ridiculous things happen sometimes. Maybe you dropped something loudly in the dining hall and everyone heard it.  Maybe you tried to say something intelligent in your Spanish class and accidentally said you like dancing with your pet kangaroo. Maybe you're on staff at some weird, cultish leadership camp where you're forced to lead absolutely imbecilic cheers in front of 150 high school kids. Maybe someone tagged a photo of you sleeping, or looking otherwise like a total idiot. Freaking own that. You drop that tray and you take a bow. You shame your classmates for not dancing with their kangaroos, too. You lead that cheer regardless of how dumb you look doing it. Finally, whatever you do, don't untag that picture. If someone cares enough to creep through your tagged photos and find that ugly one, it probably won't deter them from liking you. If you need help with laughing at yourself, talk to me. For one thing, I guarantee I can find some laughable things about you. For another, I have pretty much never taken myself seriously...ever. I mean, I recently agreed at the urging of RA to be the Howard representative in the Miss ND pageant. You've got to be kidding me. In all seriousness, though (see what I did there?), you need to know when the time is right to have a hearty guffaw at your own expense - and with that top you're wearing, that time is probably right now.

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