Saturday, February 11, 2012

Dances Are Still Stressful

For those of you who are completely out of the loop, last night was the Howard-Fisher Mardi Gras formal. It was quite the adventure, and, as I said on my way into the Woodward, "This night says two words to me and two words only: blog post." Without further ado, then, here it is - the official blogosphere media coverage of Howard Formal 2012.

The night began, as is so often the case with dances, in the middle of the afternoon. All through the dorm, girls were rushing out to salons, to the mall, and to friends' rooms for nail appointments, brow appointments, and all sorts of varied primping rituals. Over in Fisher, the guys were probably pregaming their pregames. As for me, I'd used the late-night dance as an excuse not to put any effort into my appearance before my 10:40 class, so I spent the afternoon doing all the general getting-ready things that normal people do in the morning. My crew hit the dining hall for an early dinner, then spent a frantic two hours preparing for the dance. I straightened my hair. I curled my hair. I put my hair up. I put my hair back down. I re-curled my hair. I complained about my hair. I blasted a Top 40 Spotify playlist so I'd have any vague idea of what might be played at the dance, which drowned out the oh-my-God-does-this-dress-look-okay-how's-my-hair-ugh-my-eyeliner-looks-terrible-will-my-boobs-fall-out-of-this-dress-five-shots-from-now chorus undoubtedly echoing back through the hallway. Believe it or not, I shaved my legs. I painted my toenails. I eventually made someone else do my hair (thanx gurl). I happily discovered that my senior prom dress does, in fact, still fit. (Success!) I realized it was 8:20 and my date would be here in ten minutes. I put my shoes on - a rather more difficult endeavor than one might guess - and ran out into the hallway to join my friends.

At this point, we commenced with phase two of formal night: the in-dorm picture-fest. The dates slowly arrived, one already drunk, the rest mostly awkward. We panicked as each successive camera failed to work properly. We rejoiced as each camera started working again. Date pics, friend pics, roomie pics, group pics, and stair pics were taken by all, and before we knew it, it was on to phase three: general frivolity (and more picturez!!) in Keough. After the slowest walk to West Quad ever recorded - thank you, snow, ice, long dresses, and heels - we arrived at our first location of the night. We were joined and then abandoned by a whole other group of dance-goers and a Class of 2014 poster couple who, with no intention of going to the dance, popped by just to join in the fun, and then it was off to our 10:45 bus. Following another very treacherous walk, we arrived at the buses and realized that the bus currently boarding was the one technically labeled 10:25. We ignored this - as did everyone else - and got on the bus anyway. Gradually, the bus got fuller and fuller until there were approximately 5 people to every seat, 40 people standing in the aisle, and a grand total of seven thousand people on the bus. Once everyone possible had squeezed onto the bus, we were off - and the couple in front of us were off to make-out town. This would have been more disgusting and uncomfortable for everyone were it not so hilariously typical of the mess this night was quickly becoming. The best moment of the bus ride came when the gentleman next to the loving couple - yes, that's right, they were sharing that seat with two other people - decided to play along and just throw his arm around both of them.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of awkward bus times - and awkward bus pictures - we arrived at...Buffalo Wild Wings. Much to everyone's surprise, our dance venue was apparently located directly above Bdubs. So, now that the dance had been in progress for an hour, we all piled out of the bus and into the dance. The dance itself was fun, of course. There were girls throwing up, there were girls crying, word on the street is there were girls making out with other girls - so, I mean, with the exception of two out of those three groups, a great time was had by all! Beads, masks, and Mardi Gras-themed ducks abounded, our Keough boys had two more hours to show off their incredible rapping skills, and, to the surprise of absolutely no one, our RA was named queen of the ball. At the end of the night, we all headed back to the street and, in the case of half of the group waiting, got on the very-full bus and headed home. I'm hoping and assuming that, since it has been approximately 14 hours since this occurred, the rest of the crew, left standing in the middle of the street in 15-degrees-Fahrenheit downtown South Bend when our bus drove away last night, has since returned to campus. Upon reaching Howard, the fourth floor - as is our custom - collectively changed into sweatpants and congregated in our RA's room for three hours. Eventually, we called it a night, headed back to our rooms, and drifted off to dreamland.

In all, I'd say it was a pretty successful night! I still haven't bothered to put on real-people clothes or move more than eight feet from my bed all day, which is pretty much  universal code for "I had a fun night last night." Since I never took my shoes off for any part of the five hours I spent dancing and paparazzi-ing the night away last night, my feet literally grow vocal cords and scream at me whenever I try to walk. I have, however, made a new Facebook album, had an hour-long Skype session, and been in on the planning of a fourth-floor craft for this afternoon, though, so it can't be said that today has been wholly unproductive. If you haven't yet, you should definitely check out all of my Facebook pictures from the formal - because, after all, I feel no sense of validation of my life unless people Like it into oblivion! Happy Mardi Gras, dear readers, and remember: just because a dance is over, doesn't mean you're done stressing about it. Should you need to find me today, I'll be in my room, de-tagging pictures.

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